I hate to be the one to write this. 

I feel a blend of annoyance and wonder when this topic pops up. 

How can you say you love someone but still cheat on them? 

Is disloyalty part of the package when a man claims to love a woman? 

Yet, this is one of the ugly complexities that has made me, and I'm sure a million women’s minds, spin.

Especially when it comes to the male gender. 

I'm not here to validate cheating; I just want to explain why some men who claim to be deeply in love still commit the abominable.  

He Doesn't Feel Respected

I can imagine you rolling your eyes at this one.

You must be thinking, “Respect again? Don't I need respect too?”

Ladies, hear me out! 

Everybody needs respect, yes, but it hits different for a man.

When a man feels his woman doesn't hold him in high regard, he'll be tempted to get it outside. 

There's something about respect that makes a man feel validated. If that's lacking, he feels powerless and subconsciously steps out. 

He may not start with the intention to cheat, but if his female colleague is making him feel like a prize while his woman is verbally breaking him down, he'll naturally gravitate to his colleague. 

It's like keeping water close to someone who has been thirsty for days. 

What do you think will happen?

He's Addicted to Sex 

Some men were exposed to sex at an early age. 

They started watching pornography for fun, but it quickly spiraled into an addiction they couldn't control. 

Now they’re wired to crave sex almost all the time.

You'll see them going to massage parlours, brothels, buying sex toys or even nursing fantasies with other people to satisfy that addiction. 

This is no longer about entertainment. 

This addiction has a chokehold on him to the point that staying faithful feels impossible. 

A sex addict can be married to the most amazing woman on earth but unless he deals with the root of his addiction, he will cheat. 

He Has Many Opportunities

Some men cheat because they didn't have the opportunity earlier.

Perhaps women rejected them because they didn't have money, or status. They could have been lacking in the physical department as well. 

That's why it's erroneous to judge a man's character when he has nothing. His real self shows up when he comes into money and power, when temptations are now knocking at his door, and when women dm hey messages are midnight 

There are hundreds of stories of men who started out faithful until they stepped into wealth. 

Their supposed fidelity vanished now they have access to the women of their dreams. 

Lack of sexual satisfaction

There's a saying that if you're not being well fed at home, you'll find food outside attractive. 

One painful reason a man cheats is because he's not sexually satisfied. 

If the bedroom isn't as spicy as he wants, he'll be tempted to explore, which is ironic because real sexual satisfaction is built over time. 

This is especially harder for people who were active before marriage. 

If they end up marrying a virgin or someone less skilled, they'll want to scratch that itch through an affair. 

Hey, I'm not here to blame the lady. In fact, there are seasons in marriage when one partner will not be ready for sex due to stress, childbirth, work travel or life lifing. 

Nevertheless, this is a weak reasons cheating men will use to justify their affair. 

His Background and Orientation

Some men believe they are entitled to more than one woman. 

Yes, they believe men are polygamous in nature so he doesn't have to be faithful to one woman. 

For these kinds of men, fidelity and loyalty are missing from their dictionary. In fact, they will tell you as long as they can provide money and be home for you and your kids, they are responsible. 

Rubbish!

I don't blame them though. 

For many, it's the system they grew up in. Some of these men never saw an example of a faithful man. All they had were fathers who never committed to one woman, uncles whose bodies had more traffic than the busiest road in your city. They saw men who fell into temptation like fruit flies over sweet pineapple.

Some of them even grew up in polygamous families or cultures that supported polygamous relationships. 

All these distorted their mindset into believing they’re incapable of fidelity. 

Some of these men believe they're God's gift to women, so you'll find these men glorifying smashing.

They will go on trips, have one night stands, hookup with the nearest available girl, and return home to their wives and girlfriends like nothing happened. 

They believe that's what manhood is about: having many women even if there's one woman in his heart. 

He Doesn't Have Sexual Discipline

Some men lack sexual discipline. 

From a young age, they never learned to control their urges so it's literally turned into a weakness. 

They never learnt to refuse sex and channel their desires into something healthy. 

So, when their spouses are not available for one reason or the other, they may use that as an excuse to cheat. 

It's more difficult now with technology. Temptations are everywhere.

Ads. Emails. Social media. 

A man who hasn't learned to control his sexual appetites will feast on lustful content. 

And you know what they say about exposure? 

What you expose yourself to controls your life. 

He Got Careless

Men tend to overestimate themselves when it comes to women. They underestimate how vulnerable they can be around women.

They think they are too strong to fall, so they don't put boundaries in place. 

You'll find him allowing phone calls at odd hours and justifying it by saying it's work.

Or he'll let himself be called pet names and excuse it as fun. 

He may even allow women to touch him in places that are clearly pushing boundaries.

And because they overestimate their strength, they fail to notice when they've become prey. 

So yeah, some men cheat because they got too comfortable with the wrong women.