8 Signs You Chose The Wrong Partner

The only thing worse than being single is getting married to the wrong person. 

If you think you're in this box, I can't imagine how regretful you feel.

You feel you've sabotaged your life and everything in you wants out.  

Now, many couples at some point have thought they married the wrong person, only to find out it's just basic human differences they needed wisdom to handle.

So before you conclude, validate your suspicion with the points I'm about to share.

You Don't Like Them 

When people say marry for love, they forget to add, marry someone you like.

Or don't you know you can like someone without loving them?

Loving someone is being committed to them while embracing their imperfections.

But liking someone is enjoying their personality and the things they do. 

Maybe it's how they flip their hair when they're mad, how they munch their chops or the way they smile.

You simply enjoy their company. 

When you like someone, you always want to spend time with them. 

Even if they annoy you, you'll forgive them because of the emotional connection you two share.

But with the wrong person, marriage becomes a game of endurance.  

Soon, you'll resent them because you feel trapped.   

You'll find everything they do irritating, and that's not fair to any of you. You should find your partner fun to be with, not someone to tolerate. 

You keep secrets from them.

I've heard of case where a husband was travelling and the wife got to know from a third party.

Or the wife got a promotion and the husband found out from a mutual friend.

And honestly, I don't get it. 

If you're going to share body fluids with someone who can kill you in your sleep, why wouldn't you share pivotal moments in your life?

Sadly, this is common with couples who feel they married the wrong person. 

With the right person, your life is an open book. 

Trust naturally follows. 

You always want to talk to them about what's happening in your life. You share your wins, fears and plans. 

But with the wrong person, you hide.

It's not healthy if you have to keep secrets from your partner, instead of involving them in your life. 

Marriage is about companionship. It's about having someone to lift this heavy burden called life. 

And if you can't do this with your spouse, you only have a roommate.

You Don't Want to Spend Time With Them

You should feel energized after talking to your partner. 

That's how I feel after talking to the people I care about. 

It doesn't matter how stressful the day was. Just getting to gossip about life makes me feel good.

If I am getting this much excitement from friends, how much more someone I'm married to.

Marriage shouldn’t feel like emotional labor 24/7.

Your partner should be one of the first people you run when something happens. 

It should be as easy as sending a long VN or even having a quick video call. 

You shouldn't have to rehearse conversations or put on an act because you fear their response.

I’m sorry, but if you dread every conversation with your spouse, you really don't have a marriage. 

Marriage thrives on healthy communication and if every encounter makes you feel less than yourself, something is wrong. 

Lack of Respect

It's one thing if you don't like me.

But calling me names, gaslighting me and or even humiliating me publicly, nahh, that's crossing the line. 

As I write, I can't help but remember one of those videos where a newly wedded couple was cutting the cake. 

At the count of three, the guy smashed her head into the cake and ran off to the cheering arms of his friend.

I'm sure the weeping bride, who had cake in her nose, hair and eyes, regretted ever meeting that man.

If you're with someone who embarrasses you publicly and privately, that's not a personality trait.

It's blatant disrespect. 

Love without respect is useless.

And you cannot build a healthy marriage with someone who doesn’t even value you.

Everything Feels Forced

I'm not saying marriage is easy.

Building a good relationship takes effort. 

There are going to be days when you want to be by yourself without taking care of anybody.

However, with the right person, showing love feels effortless.

Most times, at least.

You'll still have conversations when feeling tired, serve your partner breakfast in bed, or run errands after a stressful workday.

With the wrong person, it's a struggle. 

Just getting something from the grocery store feels like you're asked to run a marathon.

Well, you two didn't build friendship, but relied on butterflies.

Now that they're gone, you feel too tired to give your partner basic support.

You Two Barely Agree 

You're two people with different thoughts and experiences, of course, there'll be conflicts.

But if you're married to the wrong person, every basic conversation is war. 

You fight to get your points across, and they fight you back. 

Nobody is listening, but both of you are cussing out each other.

Listen, marriage is not a courtroom.

Something is off if you constantly feel like you need evidence and witnesses just to be understood.

And because you feel zero connection with the person you married, your home is like WWE.

You Wish You Were Single Again

I believe that marriage is supposed to be better than being single.

Once in a while, though, you'll think of your single days or what life would be if you weren't married. 

That's harmless imagination. 

It becomes a problem when you romanticize your single years, or wish you never met your partner, or worse, that you married someone else.

In fact, you're happiest when they're absent. 

When you start romanticizing escape more than your actual marriage, something is seriously wrong.

You're Not Compatible 

When you were in love, everything felt so new and exciting.

The connection was loud and the chemistry was chemistrying.

Red flags looked pink and you were optimistic you could change them. 

But once you said ‘I do’ and the fog of love vanished, you finally saw WHO you married.

Your values and beliefs clashed like night and day.

You're a saver but they like to spend.

You like deep talks but they avoid conflict.

You value growth and they rather Netflix and chill - all day. 

You finally realized you didn’t marry a partner, but a fantasy.

What a rude shock!

Well, you're already married so you can't give up now. 

So you dim your light so they won't say you're doing too much. 

You avoid having some conversations because they won't understand.

But marriage is sustained when two people align.

Now, no matter what you do, the distance increases because you two are not on the same wavelength, mentally, spiritually and every other ally.